Living Single

Actress Vonetta McGhee reigning supreme in her space

Hopefully the title made you think of the fabulous 90s series. It remains one of my favorite shows. I won't get started on how much I love that show. This post is about living alone while being young, gifted, quirky and Black.

It's been 14 months since I began living alone and I am still learning valuable lessons, but loving every minute of my solitude. Of course my parents worry, but that's what they do. I embrace it. This is what I've been wanting since I was youngin' watching Khadijah & her crew. I took the Max route though. The longing to live alone really reared its head when I moved back to STL in 2008. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't mind living with my parents. Living rent free was awesome. We were growing together and learning each other as adults. Things were just changing. I wanted to have my own space to be loud, quiet or pant-less in. So my living situation has gone from living with my immediate family 5 siblings and parents, to 3 siblings and parents, then dormitory living, next was a shared apartment, then back home to my parents and 1 sibling. All the while having to share bathrooms, lol. Now it's just me and of course the occasional visitor.
Despite the crooning of Three Dog Night, one is NOT the loneliest number. I'm the queen of this castle. Of course  that's my bra on the floor and my mismatched socks on the table. I have learned the beauty of making a mad dash to get back to my fortress of solitude. Why yes, I am leaving this event early. Where am I going? Home, where I can be pant-less in peace and not be stared at strangely because of it. Bye.

Here are some things I've learned from living on my own:
1) The entire apartment is my room! There are things strewn about. It is organized chaos. Depending on our relationship, I may let you see it at its worse.
2) I never close the bathroom door. I have to remind myself to do this when company's over.
3) I constantly talk to myself.
4) There's always enough food for one. The meal may not be conventional, but hey it'll do.
5) I'm messy. 
6) I do make every effort to be a good hostess. I was raised right, lol.
7) Being pant-less is everything!
8) Budgeting is a must honey. Having more month than money is undesirable.
9) My offers from the opposite sex have increased exponentially, lol. 
10) I don't mind drinking alone

What I've come to realize is that living alone will enhance your quirkiness. I'm different, I know this but being alone has and continues to fine tune it. I'm not out here like Kramer getting rid of all my furniture in lieu of "levels". Trust and believe that there are #quirksonquirksonquirks. Living alone provides time to explore and revel in your private self. You are the best twerker, singer, chef, and yogi. To quote Remy Ma "See this ain't nothing that you're used to, out of the ordinary unusual You gotta have the mind state that I'm so great can't nobody do like you. Miraculous phenomenal ain't nobody in here stopping you..."


If you've never lived alone I implore you to try it. The feeling of coming home to your own space and being able to be peaceful. I know that when I decide to live with someone again they'll have to have lived on their own so we can re-socialize together, lol.







The soundtrack to this post is Billy Joel's Movin Out

Change has come

Hey!

Things have been changing for me recently and I now have time to sit down collect myself, say thank you, and write. We're 3 months into the new year and I've got a promotion, my own apartment, a haircut, and no car, lol. They are all connected and I'm thankful for each one of them. The past month or so has been a month of growth. I'm growing into my adulthood and my womanhood and I'm accepting it with open arms. It's very comforting and exciting to see yourself mature seamlessly. Of course we all have our "moments," but I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming, and it inspires me to keep growing and living! I also know I'm getting older because all I want to do on the weekends is catch up on sleep lol. #elderly 

This promotion had come just in time because I had been feeling under challenged in my old position and my mind was restless. I couldn't sleep at night because I was fearing that I was wasting my potential and intelligence. I was thankful that I had a job, but baby, I wanted to QUIT. I just wasn't getting what I thought I needed. I felt like I had learned all of what I was supposed to in that role. So, yeah, I'm glad about this new title.

 I've got my own place now. No more living off the fat of the land at my parent's because they've decided to move back to Houston. They wanted me to come, but I unlike them, am not retired and can't just up and move. I felt I was getting older and now was the best time for me to make this move. I'm still between both places, but I sleep at my apartment most nights and my mama has already left for 5th Ward leaving daddy to pack up the house. It's an adjustment to say the least but I know it'll be good in the end. I'm still in the beginning stages. No bed or tv  yet, but come May when I get JSU out of my pockets, I'll more to spend. My car broke down about a month ago. Ivy was old and well used. I see it as a silver lining because now I don't have to spend money on car maintenance, insurance, gas, etc.  

On to this hair honey, I had long been thinking about a change in hairstyles. I got inspired to cut all of it while was getting those trendy linings for a couple of months last summer. So I did it. Took my shoulder length hair and had my stylist chop it and give me a tapered cut. I LOVE it! I already feel so different. I've never had short hair before and I feel free. I'm #summertimefine  and it's barely spring, LOL

All these things are happening all at once. I'm beyond blessed, thankful, and grateful for them and for the people in my life who are supporting me. We'll see by the end of the year where I am emotionally, but right now, I 'm floating. Watch this Black girl fly (word to K-Dot)

Here's to change, it's making me better even when I don't feel like it is.

That's my before and after picture. #Cheekbones #TWA #new

Don't let Christmas make your money rubber!

This piece is from Soulkissestv.com 

10 Ways To Save On Christmas

October 11, 2011 By SangDuong

1. Make a budget. Be realistic and sit down with everyone in your family and discuss realistically what can be afforded. I know it’s not the hottest topic to discuss, but if your whole family knows the budget then their requests will be more reasonable and help lessen the stress.

2. Plan ahead. Know what you want for the Holiday Season whether it’s buying gifts for one another to having a sit down dinner or going on vacation. Again whatever you decide to do put on paper and start planning early. Its mid September but a few weeks from now your schedule may not allow enough time to plan for a wonderful stress free Holiday Season.

3. Write it all down. Once you know your budget and you start planning what you envision your Christmas  Season to be like be sure to write it all down. This makes for a great quick reference and the human mind does not keep track of our decisions as accurately as we wish! Writing down your plan will help you stay within budget and keeps your expectations in check and realistic.

4. If you are purchasing gifts be sure to ask those persons you are buying for to give you a list of 4-5 realistic options within your budget. I know it’s not very popular to ask and you should be thankful for anything given but it’s nice to get what you like. I’m more for the surprise type but with the current economy I am more than thankful for items I do need.

5. Ask for needs. It’s not popular to get items you need, but it can be less stress for you when money is already tight getting items you are in need of. I like Starbucks but with small kids in my house the hubby and I rarely get an opportunity to use a Starbucks gift card. For our family a gift card to Walgreens would be more suitable.

6. Exchange childcare. If you do plan on going shopping consider shopping early in the year and exchanging child care with a friend. Take turns watching each other’s kids so you can go shopping in peace. Do you find yourself spending more money when you have your kids with you? Treat yourself to less stress and shop being relaxed and not rushed. If you truly need to save money plan out your transactions and don’t shop with others, this will help stay on budget and keep to a plan.

7. Shop Clearance and Discontinued items. So this may not be popular but if you have limited funds look for clearance items and be sure to keep your budget in mind when shopping around for items. Look for Manager Specials or closeout sales. Often times you can find some really good items fairly cheap if you just take the time to look around hence the reason start early.

8. Set up a Storage area. The worst thing you can do to yourself is shop early and accumulate your gifts and put them away in different spots and then when it comes to pull them out you don’t know where you put them. Designate one place to store those items. A cheap alternative is get a Cubby Tote drawer from Target for $2.50 from the $1 area and use that you place your items in and put it in a closet high for small kids not be able to reach. For bigger items consider a plastic tote 18 gallons or bigger or even the under the bed flat totes but make sure it’s a solid color and not a clear one.

9. Label Everything. When you buy a gift be sure to label with masking tape who the gift is for and for what occasion. If you are like me I will buy items when they are on clearance or at their lowest price and store them for birthdays or special treats but be sure to label them so you don’t have the hassle of trying to remember.

10. Buy after the Holiday Season. So let’s start early for next year! So you may find some discounted Holiday items right now but you will really save just after the Holiday season primarily the 2nd week of January all the way to the 2nd week of February. I spent $10 one year and got all my Christmas decorations including lights, ornaments (custom) and solid decorative bulbs, tree, wrapping paper, tape and much more for the following year. I waited till everything was 95% off and I am thankful every year after that.

Enjoy your holiday shopping!

*Jezzie's two cents :This is just a list of ways to try and have some money to spend after Christmas has come and gone. Take heed. I know we all like to give gifts and see reactions but I know none of us wants to deal being broke and incurring overdraft fees because of it. You work to hard to have lint in your pockets.