Cuffing with conviction :Tips and Guidelines for a Successful Cuffing Season

Imagine this, you're on the couch watching television, some light trap music playing in the background, it's a typical evening. In the midst of your chilling, you notice the increase of notifications, you've been receiving over the past few weeks. The texts, Facebook messages, DMs, etc. Now, you're no slouch, but you don't get as much play on a regular basis as you do during certain seasons.You then realize what time of year it is. Autumn has just begun, and that means that Cuffing Season (CS) is upon us...

 Now the way I see it, you have two choices. You can either: 1) open up these messages (these are usually from people you have history with, but they can also be from complete strangers) or 2) Go out, meet some people and start recruiting. I say, why not do both? Just proceed with caution. You must know that responding to the trite "What's up stranger?" will undoubtedly set you up to entertain some foolishness. Some of the folk in our past need to stay there and it will quickly become clear why you stopped messing with him/her in the first place. If you are going to participate in and take full advantage of cuffing season, allow me to give you some advice and guidelines. It is important to note that I am not a relationship guru, but I am an opinionated soul who doesn't mind sharing what I know and my observations in hopes of helping others. So let's get to it.

Cuffing season comes between Labor and Valentine's Day. Folk are fresh off their Summer flings, and might be looking for someone to keep time with during the cooler part of the year. Make no mistake, not everyone who is participating is looking for a forever spouse. Sometimes that just happens, you think it's just going to be until the ice thaws, but you never know what is going to happen so stay sharp! It's no coincidence that CS falls in the part of the year where people usually attend more group events, i.e. tailgating, bonfires, holiday parties, etc. You can definitely go to these by yourself, but sometimes you want somebody to hold hands with, giggle, share inside jokes, share meals, and possibly your bed. I get it, I get it, I swear that I get it. Everyone isn't cut out for this. That is understandable. If you don't like serial dating, get jealous/possessive really quickly, or would rather not entertain more than one person at time, I say don't participate. If you are in a committed relationship, married, engaged, living with somebody, sharing bills, stay the fuck out of people's inboxes, this season ain't for you. Don't bring unnecessary drama to people's doorsteps. If you don't fall into the aforementioned categories, go forth.

On to my guidelines. 1) Stay safe- I know how easy it is to end up in a compromising situation, but if you aren't prepared for your cuddle buddy to be your co-parent, stay strapped. I know that accidents happen, but don't be foolish. Also, in regards to safety, you may be meeting new people, use common sense. 2) Choose wisely-Date a few before you make your final decision. There's something to said for having options. Everybody isn't a starter. 3)Stay woke- Everybody isn't who they proclaim to be. Some folk will tell you any thing. If it doesn't sound/feel right, it probably isn't. 4) Know thyself/- Know what you are looking for. If you don't like the person, let them know early on. There's no reason to waste time. 5) Be honest- Tell the other person what you are looking for. Don't assume anything. You're going to look crazy if you're 3 months in and you don't know why they are acting like y'all are an item. In my head, if no real conversation has been had but there have been 5 dates turned sleepovers, you're an item. 6) Respect the curve- It happens to the best us. We all get rejected, it sucks. I know you are awesome, but everybody isn't going to dig/appreciate your steez. 7) Go different places by yourself or with friends who are down for the cause. You never who you're going to meet. Now this one is completely underrated... 8) Enjoy yourself- Frolic in the foliage, go to haunted houses, hay rides, discover new places in your city, wear all that fly Fall gear that you've been longing to don since the first 100 degree day, meet new people.

Lastly, be kind to yourself and others, you never know, this could be your last season as a free agent.


That's it. I'm sure I could add more, but like I said above I'm not a relationship guru and this is already long enough. These are just what I like to use when I partake in CS. To be honest, it can be a bit much, so I'm not always recruiting or in the mood for being recruited . The sidelines are not a bad place to be. I don't know, maybe these will be of some use to you or somebody you know. Now go forth, and cuff /get cuffed with conviction.





*Bonus
Songs to cuff to: UGK-Int'l Players Anthem, Usher/Alicia Keys-My Boo,Floetry- Say Yes, Almost any Drake song, Jamie Foxx-Fall for Your Type, John Legend-P.D.A. (We Just Don't Care), Aaliyah-Come Over, Ryan Leslie-Sunday Night, Fabolous- Cuffin' Season, DAJ- The First Time, Foreign Exchange- Take off the Blues, Little Brother- Table for Two, Quincy Jones & Friends- Secret Garden (only for the trill)

Can We Talk?

Tevin Campbell used to croon back in the ‘90s, “Can we talk for a minute?” Things were a little different then, but the singer was on to something. Human connection.
If we could slow down long enough to notice each other and actually speak, instead of hiding behind our mobile phones and laptops, we could actually talk and stop doing that thing we do when we pretend we’re connecting with one another. We would inevitably be able to relate to others and become a better society.
In a day and age where technology is king, it seems that having face-to-face conversations has almost ceased to exist. Our world is in trouble. We have become a society that is accessible 24/7, no matter what we are doing or where we are, and we rely on text, Facebook “wall” posts, e-mail and most recently and disturbingly Twitter to do it. Even with all that, we still are not communicating. Gone are the days where one set out to spend time with another. Don’t be mistaken: Modern technology is great, but there’s nothing like good old-fashioned human interaction.
With the introduction of these inventions into society, we have drifted farther and farther apart. Statistics have shown the lack of communication is one of the leading contributors to the high rates of divorce. The advancements have also proven to be a reason so many parents don’t know what the heck is going on with their children. No one is talking.
Someone can respond to a “How are you?” text with “I’m fine,” and because there’s no face-to-face interaction, the fact that their world is closing in on them is completely lost on you because eyes are the windows to the souls. There are no eyes in texts.
These creations may have made contacting each other easier, but are slowly creating nothing but cold strangers, no matter how much we text each other. Look out onto the street on any given afternoon and see how many people are looking up, engaged in the world around them. There won’t be that many. Most of them will be engrossed in the message they just received, forgetting that there is a breathing world right before them that does not need to be plugged in to work.