2013 : Year in review

Happy New Year!!

I decided to write this post after watching my internet cousin Evelyn's vlog on YouTube. She's pretty fab, check her out. On to my year...It came in just as it went out, surrounded by loved ones and crying from laughter. Lots of things happened, but the most important was that this was the year that I planted some seeds for my future. I began a repayment plan with my former university, Jackson State. (I won't get into the foolish saga of actually getting the payment plan) My education is important to me, and I've decided that this brokeness that I'm experiencing is only temporary. I've always been frugal, but these payments are testing my patience. It's cool though, I'm going to pay the money, get the transcripts, graduate, get the career and the salary I deserve. Point. Blank. and The Period. I confronted some feelings about a boy that I had been burying for far too long. It was cathartic in a way. Real tears came from face. (If you know me, than you know that was a milestone.) I also had to be truthful with another man about how we weren't going to work out. That was hard. I'm built tough, but I'm not here to hurt feelings My besties and I had a friend talk that was long overdue, necessary, and helpful. We've been down for each other for over a decade and decided long ago that we weren't in the business of breaking up so we had to confront some issues. I became closer to them and to some women that we met through African dance class. These ladies have been a blessing. Slightly older, so much wiser and have shown us what our future can look like if we do it right. My folk threw me a surprise birthday party! I learned to crochet and it has made me feel more feminine, and in touch with my elders and ancestors. I read more books. I dated more men. I failed and succeeded.
 I've always been confident, but with each year I gain more self-love, empathy, compassion, knowledge, happiness. 2013 was no exception. It was a year of growth, and progression. I'm glad about it. 2014 is going to be good. It won't be a bowl full of cherries, but that's life. I'm ready for whatever. I'm going to spend my year becoming a better me. Reading more, writing more, loving more, living more.
I got some real advice right before the new year started. My good friend, Annessa said "I've been where you are, I've been 26. So let me tell you something you may not know, YOU'RE DIFFERENT. The End. You may feel like you're just like everyone else, but you're not. Know that. Embrace it." It clicked. She was telling me something that I knew but I don't really act on. So apart of me being a better me in 2014 will be to radiate my being different to as many folk as I can. I hope that your year will be as great as mine. I'll keep you all posted...

It's A Celebration B*****s!!

  As I lie here in my Forever Lazy, I'm just replaying last night's events. I've got the BEST friends and family in the world. They threw your girl a New Orleans themed surprise party! They got me, I had no clue. I thought I was going to a singles mixer. I got cute in hopes of meeting some good men. We get to my homegirl's house and folk start yelling "SURPRISE!!" while 2nd line music plays in the background. They adorned me with beads and the decor fit in with the theme. My friends know that while I am not from NOLA, the music, men, food, drinks, the city itself intoxicates me. It was perfect. They even had my parents in on it! They gave my daddy very few details because he and I talk everyday and he definitely would've ruined, it. My mama's job was to make sure I actually went and not come home after work and put on sweatpants, lol. Friends and family came out to kick it with me drink hurricanes, and dance to ratchet favorites old and new. I consider myself an amateur twerk team member especially when I get that drank in me. Just throw on my Waka Flaka weakness and watch me, LOL. Sadly, with all the camera phones no pictures were taken, we have only memories to be  replayed and recalled from last night. Today is my actual birthday and I don't even know how to spend it. Words can not express the gratitude and love that I feel. I'm just turning 26, this isn't typically a birthday that people go all out for. I do feel that since this happened that my year is going to be altogether different. There must be some changes coming. I'm so thankful, and still a bit tipsy, but I feel wrapped in love and there's no better way to greet my new year than that.

*How I felt last night. and I'm sure I made this face . LOL

No Resolutions needed

Now that bubbly has been popped, confetti swept up, glow mouthpieces turned off, and various superstitious food eaten,  let's get settled into this new year. First, a quick look back. 2012 was a good year for me. I've been blessed beyond measure. I lost some lbs, I'm more active, I found African dance, I met some great new people, I made some extra income, made myself happy,paid off some debt , improved my credit score, and your girl got a lot of play from the opposite sex. I don't know if my pheromones were working overtime or what but they were making themselves known, lol.
 Many people make New Year's resolutions in January. Lose weight, quit a dead end job, learn new languages,etc. Nothing wrong with that or the people who make them. Some actually accomplish these goals, most don't. Check on them around March Madness and many have fallen off their respective wagons. Not I said the cat. I'm just trying to become a better version of me. I know who I am and in which areas I lack. No need to make a list and broadcast it to the world. My goal everyday is to be better than the day before. I want the same for you, so by the end of 2013 we can both look back and say "look at that, that list looming over my head wasn't missed. I made the changes for me and not for onlookers." This is merely a suggestion, if making a physical list works for you then honey don't let me stop you. As for me I'm taking a different approach. I wish for you a blessed, safe, happy, loving, prosperous new year.

Low Down Loretta Brown

This is just the way I'm feeling today. Nothing crazy in particular has happened but often find myself saying some of these lines in responses to some of these tired men. It's a smooth groove that can be played whenever though. As is most of her catalog. I love me some Low Down Loretta Brown. Happy Friday all. Enjoy!

A word from Willie

This was posted on facebook and I decided that I needed to share it. Because most women in my age bracket can identify with what this man is saying. You may recognize the brother spreading the word. He was formerly known as Pretty Willie known for singing "Lay Your Body Down", "4 Walls", etc. He goes by Willie Moore Jr now. He found the Lord and is now going forth and passing it around. I won't front the message hit me, maybe it'll help one you too. Dating these days can be treacherous, but if we are armed with some knowledge it makes it easier. Feel free to subscribe to his Youtube channel. I'll do my best to keep you all posted.

Happy Women's History Month

Greetings and Salutations, It's March so that means it's Women's History Month. Naysayers be silent. Women are the central part of all societies. Respect is to be shown. The video that follows is from one of my favorite YouTubers, Whoissugar. She lists the 10 things she feels all women should know. If you're so inclined feel free to comment below as to what YOU think all women should know. Males your input is more than welcome too. "If you are in a country that is progressive, the woman is progressive. If you're in a country that reflects the consciousness toward the importance of education, it's because the woman is aware of the importance of education. But in every backward country you'll find the women are backward, and in every country where education is not stressed its because the women don't have education." -Malcolm X

Here comes the Judge...

Hey fam,
 Let me first apologize for falling off on my BHM duties. Somehow I became consumed with other things and neglecting my blog. I know we don't have that many days left in February so I may just take this on into March. I know that 's Women's History Month but it's my blog and I make the rules. I have some other rants/raves to share with you but I'll save those for another day.
With that said let me hit you with the BHM moment of today.

In 1939, Jane M. Bolin became the First African American Woman Judge in the United States. She was assigned by the Mayor to the Domestic Relations Court of the City of New York. She became a lawyer after being influenced by her father, Gaius Bolin (who was the first black graduate of Williams College). After graduating from Wellesley College, she entered Yale Law School where she was one of two African Americans and one of three women. After completing her law degree, she joined her father's practice. Ms. Bolin was also the first black woman to join the New York City Bar Association. She remained on the Domestic Relations Court, now known as the New York Family Court for nearly forty years leaving at the mandatory retirement age of 70. Bolin died in 2007 at the regal age of 98.

Black Gold- Day 2

First off, if you don't know Esperanza and Algebra. Sugar get familiar. These ladies are really talented.! This song speaks to and for us. If you didn't know; I, you, we are BLACK GOLD! Be proud of us.
**Side note: I know I said I was bringing you folk you've never heard of. BUT this song was too good not to post. I'll be back on my mission tomorrow.

STOP! Read this before you make any resolutions.

 

This article is from marcandangel

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Jezzie's two cents: I am sure I am not the only one who sees themselves in this list. If it's time to make a change  in your life, DO IT. Let these above statements start you on the right path to making your life worth leading. The time for pity parties, and being unhappy in life are over. Live your life for you do right and I promise everyone and everything else will fall into place.