2013 : Year in review

Happy New Year!!

I decided to write this post after watching my internet cousin Evelyn's vlog on YouTube. She's pretty fab, check her out. On to my year...It came in just as it went out, surrounded by loved ones and crying from laughter. Lots of things happened, but the most important was that this was the year that I planted some seeds for my future. I began a repayment plan with my former university, Jackson State. (I won't get into the foolish saga of actually getting the payment plan) My education is important to me, and I've decided that this brokeness that I'm experiencing is only temporary. I've always been frugal, but these payments are testing my patience. It's cool though, I'm going to pay the money, get the transcripts, graduate, get the career and the salary I deserve. Point. Blank. and The Period. I confronted some feelings about a boy that I had been burying for far too long. It was cathartic in a way. Real tears came from face. (If you know me, than you know that was a milestone.) I also had to be truthful with another man about how we weren't going to work out. That was hard. I'm built tough, but I'm not here to hurt feelings My besties and I had a friend talk that was long overdue, necessary, and helpful. We've been down for each other for over a decade and decided long ago that we weren't in the business of breaking up so we had to confront some issues. I became closer to them and to some women that we met through African dance class. These ladies have been a blessing. Slightly older, so much wiser and have shown us what our future can look like if we do it right. My folk threw me a surprise birthday party! I learned to crochet and it has made me feel more feminine, and in touch with my elders and ancestors. I read more books. I dated more men. I failed and succeeded.
 I've always been confident, but with each year I gain more self-love, empathy, compassion, knowledge, happiness. 2013 was no exception. It was a year of growth, and progression. I'm glad about it. 2014 is going to be good. It won't be a bowl full of cherries, but that's life. I'm ready for whatever. I'm going to spend my year becoming a better me. Reading more, writing more, loving more, living more.
I got some real advice right before the new year started. My good friend, Annessa said "I've been where you are, I've been 26. So let me tell you something you may not know, YOU'RE DIFFERENT. The End. You may feel like you're just like everyone else, but you're not. Know that. Embrace it." It clicked. She was telling me something that I knew but I don't really act on. So apart of me being a better me in 2014 will be to radiate my being different to as many folk as I can. I hope that your year will be as great as mine. I'll keep you all posted...

Repost- 10 Wonderful Ways to Embarrass Yourself

The following comes directly from a great blog call All the Many Layers. It is chock full of inspiration, style, and flair. I just happened upon it, but trust I'll be visiting it often. This particular entry stood out because I'm always on  the search of being my best self and have realized that includes doing things I've never done. The journey to fulfillment and self-love doesn't have to be hard work all the time. Enjoy life and laugh. So I'm passing this on to you, in hopes that you learn to embarrass yourself wonderfully.






“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  | Eleanor Roosevelt

1 – Confess. Declare your wildest dreams and your scariest nightmares. Admit what you’re ashamed of and what keeps you up at night. Talk about it, write about it; turn the emotion into creation. Get naked and do it often. Feel the sun warm your skin.

2 – Try something new. Don’t ignore your longings or play hard to get. Be a curiosity whore. If you like it, give it a chance. Say yes to yourself. Be easy. Give it up. If it’s good to you, if it opens you, come back for more.

3 – Be in love with something. Make love in public. Show off the stars in your eyes. Be a freaking genius at loving that thing. Love it without apology.  Wholeheartedly and passionately. Write love letters and share them with the whole world. Co-create with your love thing.

4 – Disagree. With conviction, without malice, in quiet or out loud. Believe in something. Love your differences. Carve yourself out. Dance all alone, with everyone watching.

5 – Admit you don’t know. Ask simple, basic questions. Be more concerned with understanding than being cool or all knowing. Humility is brilliance.

6 – Say What You’re Really Thinking. If it needs to be said, say it.   Expose the heart of the matter. Don't let nice become more important than real.  Claim the truth. Grab it by the balls.

7 – Disappoint someone. In order to be true to yourself. Make difficult decisions that teach you how to be your own advocate. Silence your "shoulds" and listen to your needs. Forget what you were taught. Be your own defiance.

8 – Make a mess.  Make a fool of yourself, a cluster of fumbles. Fall down, get dirty, get bruised. Let the world know that you are in the game and you won’t quit.

9 – Fall apart. Have a breakdown. Cry. Feel the burn. Let it cleanse you.

10 – Stand in the spotlight. Show all your colors.  Let them stare.

No Resolutions needed

Now that bubbly has been popped, confetti swept up, glow mouthpieces turned off, and various superstitious food eaten,  let's get settled into this new year. First, a quick look back. 2012 was a good year for me. I've been blessed beyond measure. I lost some lbs, I'm more active, I found African dance, I met some great new people, I made some extra income, made myself happy,paid off some debt , improved my credit score, and your girl got a lot of play from the opposite sex. I don't know if my pheromones were working overtime or what but they were making themselves known, lol.
 Many people make New Year's resolutions in January. Lose weight, quit a dead end job, learn new languages,etc. Nothing wrong with that or the people who make them. Some actually accomplish these goals, most don't. Check on them around March Madness and many have fallen off their respective wagons. Not I said the cat. I'm just trying to become a better version of me. I know who I am and in which areas I lack. No need to make a list and broadcast it to the world. My goal everyday is to be better than the day before. I want the same for you, so by the end of 2013 we can both look back and say "look at that, that list looming over my head wasn't missed. I made the changes for me and not for onlookers." This is merely a suggestion, if making a physical list works for you then honey don't let me stop you. As for me I'm taking a different approach. I wish for you a blessed, safe, happy, loving, prosperous new year.

Happy Women's History Month

Greetings and Salutations, It's March so that means it's Women's History Month. Naysayers be silent. Women are the central part of all societies. Respect is to be shown. The video that follows is from one of my favorite YouTubers, Whoissugar. She lists the 10 things she feels all women should know. If you're so inclined feel free to comment below as to what YOU think all women should know. Males your input is more than welcome too. "If you are in a country that is progressive, the woman is progressive. If you're in a country that reflects the consciousness toward the importance of education, it's because the woman is aware of the importance of education. But in every backward country you'll find the women are backward, and in every country where education is not stressed its because the women don't have education." -Malcolm X

Still Standing...

Real, soulful artists + their truth= REAL music and a happy listener. Happy Sunday.

Day 2 of the 31 Day Challenge

Day 2
This my second post and I must say I had trouble actually sitting down and doing this activity.

What Do I Love? What Do I Hate?
Lifestyle;
I love that I don’t have to pay bills/rent.
I love the people I live with.
I love the love that I feel when I get home.
I hate the limited privacy
I hate the dependence I feel is being built on both sides
I hate that I don’t do much with my leisure time.
Work;
I love that I have found part my calling.
I love that my manager is so wise and giving
I hate the lack of communication
I hate the bureaucracy and red tape.
I hate the lack of room for advancement
Education;
I love that I have started college and have finally made the decision to go back and finish undergrad and beyond.
I love that I have people who support my endeavors
I love that I have strong opinions
I hate that I feel others in my age group are passing me by
I hate that I feel some who should believe in me are thinking to practically and unknowingly stifling my dreams
Finances;
I love that I have a steady income with the promise of more
I love that I do know financial empowerment (even if I have yet to implement that knowledge)
I hate that I cannot manage my finances.
I hate that I have credit/debt issues
I hate that I feel if I don’t get it together I will pass these bad habits on.
Health;
I love that I have a strong body
I love that I have a stronger mental health
I love that my soul is healthier
I love that I have taken a more proactive role
I hate that I have looming health issues
I hate that I am not as proactive as I should be
I hate that I am not a spiritual as I once was
I hate that I am wasting a gym membership
Family;
I love that my family communicates
I love how strong we are
I love how I know they’ll always be there
I love that we are family
I hate that we sometimes aren’t completely truthful with each other
I hate that we can be so judgmental
I hate that we haven’t healed from a death
Relationships:
I love my friends
I love (most) of the romantic experiences I have had
I love that I have learned how to function singularly I hate that I am not as close to some as I am to others
I hate that I haven’t been in a serious relationship
I hate that I seem to fall in the friend/comfort zone

31 Day Challenge

I mentioned in previous posts that I want to change myself for the better and what fell into my lap? The 31 Day Challenge to Reset Your Life. SO of course I signed up. I will be posting(attempting to granted they aren't extremely personal,) the daily activities/exercises to track my progress. I'm excited. If you're interested I will post the link to site below under my Day 1 entry.

Day 1-
This is my first day in the 31 day challenge and I have decided to post both on my personal blog and in a physical notebook. I am flirting with 2 different mantras. I may use both. 1) “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” 2)”I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” -Frederick Douglass

I look forward to this process. I’ve been looking for a change and just didn’t know how to go about it.

http://happyblackwoman.com/join-the-31-days-to-reset-your-life-challenge-june-2011-edition