Updates, potential, and more

What's up?!
Once again I've been MIA for a couple months but I'm out here living, and learning. I'm still settling into my new position trying to find my place in this new environment. I'm also adjusting to living by myself and without a car. It has it's rough patches but honestly, it's not that bad. I've got some loud and questionable neighbors but that's what happens when you live in an apartment complex. I'm sure they think I'm strange too, lol. As far as school goes, all signs point to starting in the fall. Finally. I've been out for a long time. Former classmates are graduating with their Master's while I've yet to receive my Bachelor's.  Truthfully, it did make me feel some kind of way...for a short while. Then I remembered that our paths are purposely different. I wouldn't trade what I've learned in these past 5 and a 1/2 years being out of school for anything. As far a dating goes, honey, the #struggle is real. LOL. I've had some brothers that showed promised then offed themselves with the foolishness. You say you want to come to my house on the regular to use  MY internet and laptop cause your hotspot is tripping? Brother, we've only went out once. How can you be upset when I say no? #ByeFelicia Y'all know my bs tolerance is low, and I refuse to raise it. In other news, summer is right around the corner, so if you are in my area look for me at various concerts. I plan on attending as many as possible and screaming and singing until my lungs get sore. Here's a little mood music to make your Saturday night as easy as a Sunday morning.

Change has come

Hey!

Things have been changing for me recently and I now have time to sit down collect myself, say thank you, and write. We're 3 months into the new year and I've got a promotion, my own apartment, a haircut, and no car, lol. They are all connected and I'm thankful for each one of them. The past month or so has been a month of growth. I'm growing into my adulthood and my womanhood and I'm accepting it with open arms. It's very comforting and exciting to see yourself mature seamlessly. Of course we all have our "moments," but I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming, and it inspires me to keep growing and living! I also know I'm getting older because all I want to do on the weekends is catch up on sleep lol. #elderly 

This promotion had come just in time because I had been feeling under challenged in my old position and my mind was restless. I couldn't sleep at night because I was fearing that I was wasting my potential and intelligence. I was thankful that I had a job, but baby, I wanted to QUIT. I just wasn't getting what I thought I needed. I felt like I had learned all of what I was supposed to in that role. So, yeah, I'm glad about this new title.

 I've got my own place now. No more living off the fat of the land at my parent's because they've decided to move back to Houston. They wanted me to come, but I unlike them, am not retired and can't just up and move. I felt I was getting older and now was the best time for me to make this move. I'm still between both places, but I sleep at my apartment most nights and my mama has already left for 5th Ward leaving daddy to pack up the house. It's an adjustment to say the least but I know it'll be good in the end. I'm still in the beginning stages. No bed or tv  yet, but come May when I get JSU out of my pockets, I'll more to spend. My car broke down about a month ago. Ivy was old and well used. I see it as a silver lining because now I don't have to spend money on car maintenance, insurance, gas, etc.  

On to this hair honey, I had long been thinking about a change in hairstyles. I got inspired to cut all of it while was getting those trendy linings for a couple of months last summer. So I did it. Took my shoulder length hair and had my stylist chop it and give me a tapered cut. I LOVE it! I already feel so different. I've never had short hair before and I feel free. I'm #summertimefine  and it's barely spring, LOL

All these things are happening all at once. I'm beyond blessed, thankful, and grateful for them and for the people in my life who are supporting me. We'll see by the end of the year where I am emotionally, but right now, I 'm floating. Watch this Black girl fly (word to K-Dot)

Here's to change, it's making me better even when I don't feel like it is.

That's my before and after picture. #Cheekbones #TWA #new

2013 : Year in review

Happy New Year!!

I decided to write this post after watching my internet cousin Evelyn's vlog on YouTube. She's pretty fab, check her out. On to my year...It came in just as it went out, surrounded by loved ones and crying from laughter. Lots of things happened, but the most important was that this was the year that I planted some seeds for my future. I began a repayment plan with my former university, Jackson State. (I won't get into the foolish saga of actually getting the payment plan) My education is important to me, and I've decided that this brokeness that I'm experiencing is only temporary. I've always been frugal, but these payments are testing my patience. It's cool though, I'm going to pay the money, get the transcripts, graduate, get the career and the salary I deserve. Point. Blank. and The Period. I confronted some feelings about a boy that I had been burying for far too long. It was cathartic in a way. Real tears came from face. (If you know me, than you know that was a milestone.) I also had to be truthful with another man about how we weren't going to work out. That was hard. I'm built tough, but I'm not here to hurt feelings My besties and I had a friend talk that was long overdue, necessary, and helpful. We've been down for each other for over a decade and decided long ago that we weren't in the business of breaking up so we had to confront some issues. I became closer to them and to some women that we met through African dance class. These ladies have been a blessing. Slightly older, so much wiser and have shown us what our future can look like if we do it right. My folk threw me a surprise birthday party! I learned to crochet and it has made me feel more feminine, and in touch with my elders and ancestors. I read more books. I dated more men. I failed and succeeded.
 I've always been confident, but with each year I gain more self-love, empathy, compassion, knowledge, happiness. 2013 was no exception. It was a year of growth, and progression. I'm glad about it. 2014 is going to be good. It won't be a bowl full of cherries, but that's life. I'm ready for whatever. I'm going to spend my year becoming a better me. Reading more, writing more, loving more, living more.
I got some real advice right before the new year started. My good friend, Annessa said "I've been where you are, I've been 26. So let me tell you something you may not know, YOU'RE DIFFERENT. The End. You may feel like you're just like everyone else, but you're not. Know that. Embrace it." It clicked. She was telling me something that I knew but I don't really act on. So apart of me being a better me in 2014 will be to radiate my being different to as many folk as I can. I hope that your year will be as great as mine. I'll keep you all posted...

It's A Celebration B*****s!!

  As I lie here in my Forever Lazy, I'm just replaying last night's events. I've got the BEST friends and family in the world. They threw your girl a New Orleans themed surprise party! They got me, I had no clue. I thought I was going to a singles mixer. I got cute in hopes of meeting some good men. We get to my homegirl's house and folk start yelling "SURPRISE!!" while 2nd line music plays in the background. They adorned me with beads and the decor fit in with the theme. My friends know that while I am not from NOLA, the music, men, food, drinks, the city itself intoxicates me. It was perfect. They even had my parents in on it! They gave my daddy very few details because he and I talk everyday and he definitely would've ruined, it. My mama's job was to make sure I actually went and not come home after work and put on sweatpants, lol. Friends and family came out to kick it with me drink hurricanes, and dance to ratchet favorites old and new. I consider myself an amateur twerk team member especially when I get that drank in me. Just throw on my Waka Flaka weakness and watch me, LOL. Sadly, with all the camera phones no pictures were taken, we have only memories to be  replayed and recalled from last night. Today is my actual birthday and I don't even know how to spend it. Words can not express the gratitude and love that I feel. I'm just turning 26, this isn't typically a birthday that people go all out for. I do feel that since this happened that my year is going to be altogether different. There must be some changes coming. I'm so thankful, and still a bit tipsy, but I feel wrapped in love and there's no better way to greet my new year than that.

*How I felt last night. and I'm sure I made this face . LOL

(Not so) Late night finds for the sonically inclined-Ahmed Sirour

Unfortunately, I didn't get to make it to the Trombone Shorty concert tonight because I'm trying to be responsible with my funds. I had a pleasant time anyway though. On this rainy night I've been up thinking,reflecting, watching movies and just enjoying my silence before the work week starts. I've been listening to this man for months and if I ever have an opening of some sort, or when I have a house warming he will definitely be on the playlist. I love soothing music that makes you feel sexier just by listening to it. Ahmed does that for me. Enjoy the following clip. Support.

Repost- 10 Wonderful Ways to Embarrass Yourself

The following comes directly from a great blog call All the Many Layers. It is chock full of inspiration, style, and flair. I just happened upon it, but trust I'll be visiting it often. This particular entry stood out because I'm always on  the search of being my best self and have realized that includes doing things I've never done. The journey to fulfillment and self-love doesn't have to be hard work all the time. Enjoy life and laugh. So I'm passing this on to you, in hopes that you learn to embarrass yourself wonderfully.






“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  | Eleanor Roosevelt

1 – Confess. Declare your wildest dreams and your scariest nightmares. Admit what you’re ashamed of and what keeps you up at night. Talk about it, write about it; turn the emotion into creation. Get naked and do it often. Feel the sun warm your skin.

2 – Try something new. Don’t ignore your longings or play hard to get. Be a curiosity whore. If you like it, give it a chance. Say yes to yourself. Be easy. Give it up. If it’s good to you, if it opens you, come back for more.

3 – Be in love with something. Make love in public. Show off the stars in your eyes. Be a freaking genius at loving that thing. Love it without apology.  Wholeheartedly and passionately. Write love letters and share them with the whole world. Co-create with your love thing.

4 – Disagree. With conviction, without malice, in quiet or out loud. Believe in something. Love your differences. Carve yourself out. Dance all alone, with everyone watching.

5 – Admit you don’t know. Ask simple, basic questions. Be more concerned with understanding than being cool or all knowing. Humility is brilliance.

6 – Say What You’re Really Thinking. If it needs to be said, say it.   Expose the heart of the matter. Don't let nice become more important than real.  Claim the truth. Grab it by the balls.

7 – Disappoint someone. In order to be true to yourself. Make difficult decisions that teach you how to be your own advocate. Silence your "shoulds" and listen to your needs. Forget what you were taught. Be your own defiance.

8 – Make a mess.  Make a fool of yourself, a cluster of fumbles. Fall down, get dirty, get bruised. Let the world know that you are in the game and you won’t quit.

9 – Fall apart. Have a breakdown. Cry. Feel the burn. Let it cleanse you.

10 – Stand in the spotlight. Show all your colors.  Let them stare.

It ain't easy living green...

Yesterday, I attended the "Belle Butters Presents: Hey Fran Hey | Natural Living Hair & Health" event. It was held in downtown STL and we got to meet, mix, and mingle with the local business owner Tasha Burton of Belle Butters and popular YouTube personality and healthy lifestyle champion Fran. It was another opportunity to be around like minded individuals. I must say that I attend a fair amount of events and this was put together well. I met people I had never seen before. I'm glad Fran and Tasha's fan bases showed up and out. It had it's kinks, (insert rimshot) but mostly it was good. I do appreciate that while hair is what brought us together is was not the majority of the conversation. I was so glad there were no tutorials. There were vendors and light refreshments and entertainment. I enjoyed Thelonius Kryptonite but I felt that this wasn't his scene. Corey Black came through and delivered poetry that charmed and stroked the egos of the black women . While both talents were appreciated, I felt like the lady dj would have been enough. I must be honest, I don't purchase a lot of products for my hair and skin. I do really like Tasha's products, despite me being a burgeoning frugalista, I will occasionally buy her wares. Thanks to YouTube and sites like Fran's, I know how to whip some things up, but I don't know everything and the science behind it. That's where this chat was helpful. The ladies gave insight to living a healthier existence. They shared their stories and struggles. Fran gave the secrets to her physique, (and how while she no longer indulges, just the mention of Popeye's gives her goosebumps, lol) Tasha gave the scoop on how to keep your black from cracking and how combining their tips with your own research can help you build and maintain your regimen. Tasha gave out good business advice. She touched on perseverance, faith, and belief in oneself. Both ladies stayed after to take pictures and answer questions. I enjoyed myself and can't wait for the next event of this type.I think the turnout was good, it showed that Midwest wants more events like this and that when folk come into town, they see that we will support. Maybe it can/should be a series featuring other bloggers and social media personalities?  

That's Fran of  HeyFranHey and yours truly after we had a good chat about blogging.
She is sweet like agave nectar, lol