DISCLAIMER: This post is not to for the WOMEN who are handling their business and are jointly raising their child(ren) with the father. This post is about the ones who are constantly causing me strife.
Wale said it best, “Favorite girlfriends turn into crazy baby mothers.”
I need to vent, my dating life is suffering and I do not appreciate it. I know this won’t change the behavior, but I needed to get that off my chest. It would end if folk would make better decisions about who they bed. Accidents happen, I know but with the number of CBMs running around, this is an epidemic. I understand that you two share a bond, I would never try to change that, but there are rules. Let me be clear. I would prefer and am constantly in search of the smart, attractive, employed, CHILDLESS brother. I do understand that the older I become the smaller my chances are. So until I meet him I'm seizing opportunities. I can handle you having one kid, two maybe but what I can't and won't deal with is the drama that comes with it. Fuck that, I'm a good woman, a problem solver, I add to not subtract from my guy's life. These men have slipped up and slipped in raw and now are like "WTF?! Why is she acting like this?" They can't get with a winner because she's playing defense like the 2000 Baltimore Ravens! For example, I work with the public so I meet my fair share of men. Some worth my time, most not. Today was a day where I met one that would have definitely been worth my time. I saw him before he reached my desk. He was an attractive, beautiful dark skinned, nice smile having, educated man with a nice personality. He came in and I was assisting him for a short while and him and his brother made a computer appointment for later. He comes back and has brought me lunch. Yes, lunch. Nice right? I thought so too. After speaking with him for a bit and affirming that our chemistry was on point, I took the reins and asked if he was single. His response "It's complicated, I have a son. His mother is CRAZY; we just got into on the phone. We aren't together, but I wouldn't want to drag this drama into your life." Not what I wanted to hear and I told Dark & Lovely just that. He said "I know, it sucks because I enjoy talking with you." Damn, another one bites the dust. I don't know who's more to blame? The man, because I'm sure she's been off, he just looked over it and now she's full blown nuts or her for not realizing that some relationships don't last and this baby won't make him stay. I want these CBMs to mature and realize that you and his romantic relationship is over. Move on so both of you can find happiness. I don't have children but I do know they require loads of attention. But I'm willing to wager that your child doesn't need anything at 11 pm when your former flame and his date or he and his new girl are out on the date that you knew was scheduled. That's just childish. You both deserve happiness and your antics are holding you back. I dedicate this to my fellow single, childless sisters who just want a chance with this man and can't get one because you, the CBM can't cope. You CBMs are making dating hard as hell. Imagine yourself in our positions. Not a pretty picture right? You see how it can cause us to slip up and call you out of your name. I don’t play second fiddle to other grown women just because they have attachment issues. I replace not chase. I don’t want to count out all the men who have children but they way some of you chicks are acting it is hard not to. I know that there are some great guys that have children but we won’t give them a chance because of the drama you all are hell bent on keeping up. Your games are childish, and they are causing more issues. Nothing is getting solved. You keep it up, and your child(ren) are going to suffer. It’s not about you anymore. Hell, as much as I like dating and meeting new men, it’s not even about me and the abuse my dating life is taking. It’s about that child. Get it together. All I ask is that you know your role and play your part and we'll be cool. I hope you all realize this soon, because this mess is ridiculous. I am wasting too much time dealing with you and your drama.