Tuesday, February 2, 2016

It's as easy as A-B-C...

 Happy Black History Month! Another  February is upon us, so it's time for the the rest of the country to recognize/celebrate how trill we are. I like to surf the internet for things I haven't seen before in regards to our litness (I'm sure that's not a word, but I'm using it) accomplishments and history. I happened to stumble upon this set of Black ABCs that I read were used in the Chicago school system back in the 1970s. These were used to instill pride into growing minds. This set is too cute. Showing our kids that they are beautiful, worthy,and relevant enough to see in classrooms. I think it'd be awesome if we could modernize them for the kids today.I would not want to see any "N is for Nae-Nae" though. Anyway, I just wanted share these. Say it loud...

Monday, September 28, 2015

Cuffing with conviction :Tips and Guidelines for a Successful Cuffing Season

Imagine this, you're on the couch watching television, some light trap music playing in the background, it's a typical evening. In the midst of your chilling, you notice the increase of notifications, you've been receiving over the past few weeks. The texts, Facebook messages, DMs, etc. Now, you're no slouch, but you don't get as much play on a regular basis as you do during certain seasons.You then realize what time of year it is. Autumn has just begun, and that means that Cuffing Season (CS) is upon us...

 Now the way I see it, you have two choices. You can either: 1) open up these messages (these are usually from people you have history with, but they can also be from complete strangers) or 2) Go out, meet some people and start recruiting. I say, why not do both? Just proceed with caution. You must know that responding to the trite "What's up stranger?" will undoubtedly set you up to entertain some foolishness. Some of the folk in our past need to stay there and it will quickly become clear why you stopped messing with him/her in the first place. If you are going to participate in and take full advantage of cuffing season, allow me to give you some advice and guidelines. It is important to note that I am not a relationship guru, but I am an opinionated soul who doesn't mind sharing what I know and my observations in hopes of helping others. So let's get to it.

Cuffing season comes between Labor and Valentine's Day. Folk are fresh off their Summer flings, and might be looking for someone to keep time with during the cooler part of the year. Make no mistake, not everyone who is participating is looking for a forever spouse. Sometimes that just happens, you think it's just going to be until the ice thaws, but you never know what is going to happen so stay sharp! It's no coincidence that CS falls in the part of the year where people usually attend more group events, i.e. tailgating, bonfires, holiday parties, etc. You can definitely go to these by yourself, but sometimes you want somebody to hold hands with, giggle, share inside jokes, share meals, and possibly your bed. I get it, I get it, I swear that I get it. Everyone isn't cut out for this. That is understandable. If you don't like serial dating, get jealous/possessive really quickly, or would rather not entertain more than one person at time, I say don't participate. If you are in a committed relationship, married, engaged, living with somebody, sharing bills, stay the fuck out of people's inboxes, this season ain't for you. Don't bring unnecessary drama to people's doorsteps. If you don't fall into the aforementioned categories, go forth.

On to my guidelines. 1) Stay safe- I know how easy it is to end up in a compromising situation, but if you aren't prepared for your cuddle buddy to be your co-parent, stay strapped. I know that accidents happen, but don't be foolish. Also, in regards to safety, you may be meeting new people, use common sense. 2) Choose wisely-Date a few before you make your final decision. There's something to said for having options. Everybody isn't a starter. 3)Stay woke- Everybody isn't who they proclaim to be. Some folk will tell you any thing. If it doesn't sound/feel right, it probably isn't. 4) Know thyself/- Know what you are looking for. If you don't like the person, let them know early on. There's no reason to waste time. 5) Be honest- Tell the other person what you are looking for. Don't assume anything. You're going to look crazy if you're 3 months in and you don't know why they are acting like y'all are an item. In my head, if no real conversation has been had but there have been 5 dates turned sleepovers, you're an item. 6) Respect the curve- It happens to the best us. We all get rejected, it sucks. I know you are awesome, but everybody isn't going to dig/appreciate your steez. 7) Go different places by yourself or with friends who are down for the cause. You never who you're going to meet. Now this one is completely underrated... 8) Enjoy yourself- Frolic in the foliage, go to haunted houses, hay rides, discover new places in your city, wear all that fly Fall gear that you've been longing to don since the first 100 degree day, meet new people.

Lastly, be kind to yourself and others, you never know, this could be your last season as a free agent.

That's it. I'm sure I could add more, but like I said above I'm not a relationship guru and this is already long enough. These are just what I like to use when I partake in CS. To be honest, it can be a bit much, so I'm not always recruiting or in the mood for being recruited . The sidelines are not a bad place to be. I don't know, maybe these will be of some use to you or somebody you know. Now go forth, and cuff /get cuffed with conviction.

Songs to cuff to: UGK-Int'l Players Anthem, Usher/Alicia Keys-My Boo,Floetry- Say Yes, Almost any Drake song, Jamie Foxx-Fall for Your Type, John Legend-P.D.A. (We Just Don't Care), Aaliyah-Come Over, Ryan Leslie-Sunday Night, Fabolous- Cuffin' Season, DAJ- The First Time, Foreign Exchange- Take off the Blues, Little Brother- Table for Two, Quincy Jones & Friends- Secret Garden (only for the trill)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Living Single

Actress Vonetta McGhee reigning supreme in her space
Hopefully the title made you think of the fabulous 90s series. It remains one of my favorite shows. I won't get started on how much I love that show. This post is about living alone while being young, gifted, quirky and Black.

It's been 14 months since I began living alone and I am still learning valuable lessons, but loving every minute of my solitude. Of course my parents worry, but that's what they do. I embrace it. This is what I've been wanting since I was youngin' watching Khadijah & her crew. I took the Max route though. The longing to live alone really reared its head when I moved back to STL in 2008. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't mind living with my parents. Living rent free was awesome. We were growing together and learning each other as adults. Things were just changing. I wanted to have my own space to be loud, quiet or pant-less in. So my living situation has gone from living with my immediate family 5 siblings and parents, to 3 siblings and parents, then dormitory living, next was a shared apartment, then back home to my parents and 1 sibling. All the while having to share bathrooms, lol. Now it's just me and of course the occasional visitor.
Despite the crooning of Three Dog Night, one is NOT the loneliest number. I'm the queen of this castle. Of course  that's my bra on the floor and my mismatched socks on the table. I have learned the beauty of making a mad dash to get back to my fortress of solitude. Why yes, I am leaving this event early. Where am I going? Home, where I can be pant-less in peace and not be stared at strangely because of it. Bye.

Here are some things I've learned from living on my own:
1) The entire apartment is my room! There are things strewn about. It is organized chaos. Depending on our relationship, I may let you see it at its worse.
2) I never close the bathroom door. I have to remind myself to do this when company's over.
3) I constantly talk to myself.
4) There's always enough food for one. The meal may not be conventional, but hey it'll do.
5) I'm messy. 
6) I do make every effort to be a good hostess. I was raised right, lol.
7) Being pant-less is everything!
8) Budgeting is a must honey. Having more month than money is undesirable.
9) My offers from the opposite sex have increased exponentially, lol. 
10) I don't mind drinking alone

What I've come to realize is that living alone will enhance your quirkiness. I'm different, I know this but being alone has and continues to fine tune it. I'm not out here like Kramer getting rid of all my furniture in lieu of "levels". Trust and believe that there are #quirksonquirksonquirks. Living alone provides time to explore and revel in your private self. You are the best twerker, singer, chef, and yogi. To quote Remy Ma "See this ain't nothing that you're used to, out of the ordinary unusual You gotta have the mind state that I'm so great can't nobody do like you. Miraculous phenomenal ain't nobody in here stopping you..."

If you've never lived alone I implore you to try it. The feeling of coming home to your own space and being able to be peaceful. I know that when I decide to live with someone again they'll have to have lived on their own so we can re-socialize together, lol.

The soundtrack to this post is Billy Joel's Movin Out

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Goodbye 2014...Hello 2015!

Happy New Year!

I won't hold you hostage with a super long post, but I did want to drop by and write something. Writing has been on my mind lately and just yesterday a friend asked why I didn't post anymore. Last post was in July. JULY. Now, I don't need to defend my absence but I will say that is a long time to be gone. Too long. Life was being lived. Feelings were being felt. Money was being made and spent, lol. I will do better, I have to. A lot happened in 2014. In a wide scope, America was being extra ugly towards my folk. Tragedy is never easy, but within the struggle there is beauty and the result of this unrest will be magnificent. People from all over came to Ferguson and the surrounding areas to show solidarity and let the powers that be know that this mistreatment is for the birds. On a more personal note, I got my own place, cut my hair...multiple times, bought a car, went back to school (<<<<<<I'm real excited about this one), I wrote my first guest piece on another site, went to some GREAT concerts, (OUTKAST, anyone??) D'Angelo returned to music and I willingly gave him my coins, I made some good new friends, dissolved some silly relationships, got promoted, switched branches, became uncomfortable. Most importantly, I loved, laughed, cried, lived and reveled in my being different. 2014 definitely had its share of ups and downs. I'm something like an optimist though so I tend not to dwell on the low points for long. I am definitely appreciative of all that happened and all that will happen. As far as resolutions go, I'm not big on them. I do like to have goals set though. My goals change throughout the year. As my mind shifts, so do the goals. I do have a little list for right now though.

 2015 Goals (so far)

  • Take more pictures
  • Dress up more
  • Be more optimistic
  • Do more art
  • Improve
  • Go more places ( here and abroad)
  • Take no shit
  • Organize
  • Save money/make more
  • Focus/Be attentive
  • Learn more
  • Be more awesome
  • Be more aware
  • Listen more (to God, to music, to myself, to others)
  • Love myself and others more 
That's all I have to say right now. What are your plans for this year?
 Stay blessed or be pressed...

*soundtrack to this post was The Internet. Get familiar

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Influenster- Freeman Barefoot foot Polish

Hi all,

This post will be short and sweet. I received a voucher for a FREE full size product from this company Influenster. It took me a while to get around to actually going and picking the product up but once I did, man...My feet are incredibly smooth. This is exactly what I needed. I had been postponing my pedicure appointment, now I can just cancel it. I'll be picking up another bottle as soon as this one is gone, lol.

*I received this product free of charge

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Late night finds for the sonically inclined -European Invasion

Hey folks,

Let's get right into it. There are very few minutes of my day when I don't feel like cutting a rug. Internally dropping it or doing a mean shoulder shimmy that would make your uncle look twice. Just feels good and right. These selections make me feel good and I want to share them with you. All of the artists are from Europe. Mnek is a 19 year old Nigerian-British singer-songwriter. He recently dropped his first single, Wrote a Song About You, for his upcoming debut album. Next is DTwice De Bel Air from France. Now this isn't an original work, but it takes me back to younger, simpler times and I'm always a DC3 fan. Last, but not least, is Blonde. An duo of 18 yr olds who apparently are harboring some serious soul. Kind of puts me in the mind of Craig David's Walking Away, just a little bit. So there they are folks. I like to look for new music on the internet and I think I've found some winners. You should add them to one of your mixes.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Updates, potential, and more

What's up?!
Once again I've been MIA for a couple months but I'm out here living, and learning. I'm still settling into my new position trying to find my place in this new environment. I'm also adjusting to living by myself and without a car. It has it's rough patches but honestly, it's not that bad. I've got some loud and questionable neighbors but that's what happens when you live in an apartment complex. I'm sure they think I'm strange too, lol. As far as school goes, all signs point to starting in the fall. Finally. I've been out for a long time. Former classmates are graduating with their Master's while I've yet to receive my Bachelor's.  Truthfully, it did make me feel some kind of way...for a short while. Then I remembered that our paths are purposely different. I wouldn't trade what I've learned in these past 5 and a 1/2 years being out of school for anything. As far a dating goes, honey, the #struggle is real. LOL. I've had some brothers that showed promised then offed themselves with the foolishness. You say you want to come to my house on the regular to use  MY internet and laptop cause your hotspot is tripping? Brother, we've only went out once. How can you be upset when I say no? #ByeFelicia Y'all know my bs tolerance is low, and I refuse to raise it. In other news, summer is right around the corner, so if you are in my area look for me at various concerts. I plan on attending as many as possible and screaming and singing until my lungs get sore. Here's a little mood music to make your Saturday night as easy as a Sunday morning.