Living Single

Actress Vonetta McGhee reigning supreme in her space

Hopefully the title made you think of the fabulous 90s series. It remains one of my favorite shows. I won't get started on how much I love that show. This post is about living alone while being young, gifted, quirky and Black.

It's been 14 months since I began living alone and I am still learning valuable lessons, but loving every minute of my solitude. Of course my parents worry, but that's what they do. I embrace it. This is what I've been wanting since I was youngin' watching Khadijah & her crew. I took the Max route though. The longing to live alone really reared its head when I moved back to STL in 2008. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't mind living with my parents. Living rent free was awesome. We were growing together and learning each other as adults. Things were just changing. I wanted to have my own space to be loud, quiet or pant-less in. So my living situation has gone from living with my immediate family 5 siblings and parents, to 3 siblings and parents, then dormitory living, next was a shared apartment, then back home to my parents and 1 sibling. All the while having to share bathrooms, lol. Now it's just me and of course the occasional visitor.
Despite the crooning of Three Dog Night, one is NOT the loneliest number. I'm the queen of this castle. Of course  that's my bra on the floor and my mismatched socks on the table. I have learned the beauty of making a mad dash to get back to my fortress of solitude. Why yes, I am leaving this event early. Where am I going? Home, where I can be pant-less in peace and not be stared at strangely because of it. Bye.

Here are some things I've learned from living on my own:
1) The entire apartment is my room! There are things strewn about. It is organized chaos. Depending on our relationship, I may let you see it at its worse.
2) I never close the bathroom door. I have to remind myself to do this when company's over.
3) I constantly talk to myself.
4) There's always enough food for one. The meal may not be conventional, but hey it'll do.
5) I'm messy. 
6) I do make every effort to be a good hostess. I was raised right, lol.
7) Being pant-less is everything!
8) Budgeting is a must honey. Having more month than money is undesirable.
9) My offers from the opposite sex have increased exponentially, lol. 
10) I don't mind drinking alone

What I've come to realize is that living alone will enhance your quirkiness. I'm different, I know this but being alone has and continues to fine tune it. I'm not out here like Kramer getting rid of all my furniture in lieu of "levels". Trust and believe that there are #quirksonquirksonquirks. Living alone provides time to explore and revel in your private self. You are the best twerker, singer, chef, and yogi. To quote Remy Ma "See this ain't nothing that you're used to, out of the ordinary unusual You gotta have the mind state that I'm so great can't nobody do like you. Miraculous phenomenal ain't nobody in here stopping you..."


If you've never lived alone I implore you to try it. The feeling of coming home to your own space and being able to be peaceful. I know that when I decide to live with someone again they'll have to have lived on their own so we can re-socialize together, lol.







The soundtrack to this post is Billy Joel's Movin Out

Goodbye 2014...Hello 2015!

Happy New Year!

I won't hold you hostage with a super long post, but I did want to drop by and write something. Writing has been on my mind lately and just yesterday a friend asked why I didn't post anymore. Last post was in July. JULY. Now, I don't need to defend my absence but I will say that is a long time to be gone. Too long. Life was being lived. Feelings were being felt. Money was being made and spent, lol. I will do better, I have to. A lot happened in 2014. In a wide scope, America was being extra ugly towards my folk. Tragedy is never easy, but within the struggle there is beauty and the result of this unrest will be magnificent. People from all over came to Ferguson and the surrounding areas to show solidarity and let the powers that be know that this mistreatment is for the birds. On a more personal note, I got my own place, cut my hair...multiple times, bought a car, went back to school (<<<<<<I'm real excited about this one), I wrote my first guest piece on another site, went to some GREAT concerts, (OUTKAST, anyone??) D'Angelo returned to music and I willingly gave him my coins, I made some good new friends, dissolved some silly relationships, got promoted, switched branches, became uncomfortable. Most importantly, I loved, laughed, cried, lived and reveled in my being different. 2014 definitely had its share of ups and downs. I'm something like an optimist though so I tend not to dwell on the low points for long. I am definitely appreciative of all that happened and all that will happen. As far as resolutions go, I'm not big on them. I do like to have goals set though. My goals change throughout the year. As my mind shifts, so do the goals. I do have a little list for right now though.

 2015 Goals (so far)

• Take more pictures
• Dress up more
• Be more optimistic
• Do more art
• Improve
• Go more places ( here and abroad)
• Take no shit
• Organize
• Save money/make more
• Focus/Be attentive
• Learn more
• Be more awesome
• Be more aware
• Listen more (to God, to music, to myself, to others)
• Love myself and others more 

That's all I have to say right now. What are your plans for this year?
 Stay blessed or be pressed...




*soundtrack to this post was The Internet. Get familiar

Late night finds for the sonically inclined -European Invasion

Hey folks,

Let's get right into it. There are very few minutes of my day when I don't feel like cutting a rug. Internally dropping it or doing a mean shoulder shimmy that would make your uncle look twice. Just feels good and right. These selections make me feel good and I want to share them with you. All of the artists are from Europe. Mnek is a 19 year old Nigerian-British singer-songwriter. He recently dropped his first single, “Wrote a Song About You“, for his upcoming debut album. Next is DTwice De Bel Air from France. Now this isn't an original work, but it takes me back to younger, simpler times and I'm always a DC3 fan. Last, but not least, is Blonde. An duo of 18 yr olds who apparently are harboring some serious soul. Kind of puts me in the mind of Craig David's Walking Away, just a little bit. So there they are folks. I like to look for new music on the internet and I think I've found some winners. You should add them to one of your mixes.

Updates, potential, and more

What's up?!
Once again I've been MIA for a couple months but I'm out here living, and learning. I'm still settling into my new position trying to find my place in this new environment. I'm also adjusting to living by myself and without a car. It has it's rough patches but honestly, it's not that bad. I've got some loud and questionable neighbors but that's what happens when you live in an apartment complex. I'm sure they think I'm strange too, lol. As far as school goes, all signs point to starting in the fall. Finally. I've been out for a long time. Former classmates are graduating with their Master's while I've yet to receive my Bachelor's.  Truthfully, it did make me feel some kind of way...for a short while. Then I remembered that our paths are purposely different. I wouldn't trade what I've learned in these past 5 and a 1/2 years being out of school for anything. As far a dating goes, honey, the #struggle is real. LOL. I've had some brothers that showed promised then offed themselves with the foolishness. You say you want to come to my house on the regular to use  MY internet and laptop cause your hotspot is tripping? Brother, we've only went out once. How can you be upset when I say no? #ByeFelicia Y'all know my bs tolerance is low, and I refuse to raise it. In other news, summer is right around the corner, so if you are in my area look for me at various concerts. I plan on attending as many as possible and screaming and singing until my lungs get sore. Here's a little mood music to make your Saturday night as easy as a Sunday morning.

It's A Celebration B*****s!!

  As I lie here in my Forever Lazy, I'm just replaying last night's events. I've got the BEST friends and family in the world. They threw your girl a New Orleans themed surprise party! They got me, I had no clue. I thought I was going to a singles mixer. I got cute in hopes of meeting some good men. We get to my homegirl's house and folk start yelling "SURPRISE!!" while 2nd line music plays in the background. They adorned me with beads and the decor fit in with the theme. My friends know that while I am not from NOLA, the music, men, food, drinks, the city itself intoxicates me. It was perfect. They even had my parents in on it! They gave my daddy very few details because he and I talk everyday and he definitely would've ruined, it. My mama's job was to make sure I actually went and not come home after work and put on sweatpants, lol. Friends and family came out to kick it with me drink hurricanes, and dance to ratchet favorites old and new. I consider myself an amateur twerk team member especially when I get that drank in me. Just throw on my Waka Flaka weakness and watch me, LOL. Sadly, with all the camera phones no pictures were taken, we have only memories to be  replayed and recalled from last night. Today is my actual birthday and I don't even know how to spend it. Words can not express the gratitude and love that I feel. I'm just turning 26, this isn't typically a birthday that people go all out for. I do feel that since this happened that my year is going to be altogether different. There must be some changes coming. I'm so thankful, and still a bit tipsy, but I feel wrapped in love and there's no better way to greet my new year than that.

*How I felt last night. and I'm sure I made this face . LOL

(Not so) Late night finds for the sonically inclined-Ahmed Sirour

Unfortunately, I didn't get to make it to the Trombone Shorty concert tonight because I'm trying to be responsible with my funds. I had a pleasant time anyway though. On this rainy night I've been up thinking,reflecting, watching movies and just enjoying my silence before the work week starts. I've been listening to this man for months and if I ever have an opening of some sort, or when I have a house warming he will definitely be on the playlist. I love soothing music that makes you feel sexier just by listening to it. Ahmed does that for me. Enjoy the following clip. Support.

Back down memory lane...

This time of year always makes me a bit misty eyed. It reminds me of when I started college, and even more importantly when I joined the band. My bestie sent me a video of the yearly merge of freshman and upperclassmen bands and it inspired me to write this. If you don't know, being in a Black college band is like a full time job. Seriously. All night practices, road trips, intense training, etc. It started with band camp in August of 2005 with the full fire heat of the Mississippi sun beaming down on me. General meet and greet with the people who would be the only ones I knew for the next 4-5 months. Then our parents left and the craziness began. Now you must understand being in band in other parts of the country pales in comparison to being in one in the South. I went from being first chair and band president in my high school to last chair before the sun set. Next morning, it got real. I'm dressed in all white standing with my peers before dawn. It was still dark out and the next thing we hear is someone running and then another yells "YOU BETTER  NOT LET HER BEAT YOU!!!" So we take off running, and it begins. A month  full of military style physical training and intense musical rehearsals weeding out the ones not built for The BOOM. It was a challenge to say the least but I couldn't let them defeat me. My parents had allowed me to go school so far away from them and I had made the decision that I wasn't going down without a fight. It paid off, I made it. I had the ugliest and oldest baritone, but it projected every wrong note that I hit, LOL. I couldn't hide. With the help of my crab brothers and sisters I got better. I had to, getting worse and quitting wasn't an option. This time of my life was one of learning, living, discovery, and growth. I became stronger, both physically and mentally. Being in a section that is 99% male definitely changed me. I have so many memories that I could share with you all about this time but I won't, not now anyway. What I will share is a video that I found on YouTube of my first home halftime show against Texas Southern University. I was approached by the lead Drum Major to be apart of a skit and after a couple hours of consideration and discussion with one of my besties, I agreed. With much trepidation, of course. In the video, I'm the one in the middle dancing while the band plays David Banner's Play . My heart was beating so fast and we practiced that skit numerous times (s/o to my CS Bianca she's on the left). I distinctly remember one of the last practices before we performed, I was on the ground in a split and Mr. Murray was yelling and telling me to "BOUNCE IT! BOUNCE IT!" You can't imagine how strange that was. I can laugh about it now. I was only in The Boom one year, but that year changed me forever. I don't look at challenges the same, I don't listen to music the same and I'm not the same girl that walked into that band room so many years ago. Because of band, Jackson State, Mississippi, John Phillip Sousa, Secret Garden (Quincy Jones' version) and The Temptations' Get Ready will always hold a special place in my heart.


CHAIR!!

(You can watch the whole video, but the skit starts around 7:30)

That's me in the center, I didn't get permission from the other people in this picture. I posted this because you can't see my face in the video. They probably don't read this blog anyway though, lol.

Late night finds for the Sonically Inclined- Sohn

Another installment for those of you who dig good music. Check out this this group Sohn (English translation is sun). They're from Vienna/London and their sound is soulful.  Give them a listen, if you like them pass it on.

For the sonically inclined...The Flatbush Zombies

'Sup, I know it's been a while since I've posted. I can't believe I let a whole month and a half pass though, I've got to do better. Black Music Month is well on its way so I'm go to throw this in. Anyway, today I'm introducing to some and displaying to others the hip-hop trio The Flatbush Zombies. They aren't your average rappers, and I mean that in the best way possible. If you're like me and always looking for what's next in music, genre be damned, then get into these guys. They're underground but not so deep that they can't be featured on Jay-z's website Life+Times. (I forgot his site was this good.) Enough of my chatter, get some newness into your life. Download.

Q.U.E.E.N.

Okay, so two of my favorite artists have collaborated and made me pause my world. I'd been hearing murmurs of this on Afro-punk. Then the song dropped and now they've blessed us with a visual. I'm referring to genre bending Janelle Monae and the soulful Ms. Erykah Badu aka Low down Loretta Brown . I won't say much more just watch and enjoy. "You can clip my wings, but I'm still going to fly..."

DO OR DIE IN BED-STUY!!!!

I'm baaaaaackkk! Another installment of late night mood music, another peek into my burgeoning audiophile-ness. Let me present you to The Stuyvesants.  This is one is mostly instrumental fused with retro gold. Sit back, lay down, crack open that book, sip that drink, cuddle up, etc. This group right here is wonderful.  I'm biased because I like them and it's my blog. Deal. Wit. It.  You can download their music for FREE.99.You all know I likes to get mine for the low, low. (Hey Tasha, that's for you,lol) But, if you're so inclined support these men by purchasing a shirt.
(Okay, so these guys never said they grew up in that famed project, but they do rep Brooklyn)

Late night mood music-Wale

I took advantage of the crazy snow on this spring day here in STL, I caught on music, film, and NCAA. Quality time was spent and overdue phone calls were made.
This is one of my favorite artists. He's constantly on the grind while trying to remain true to him and not give in to the fame machine. I've been down since the first mixtape. This single gives us a peek into the softer side of Wale. It's off his latest mixtape, Folarin that debuted Christmas Eve 2012. Enjoy...

Solange

I love Solange. Don't get me wrong I definitely love Beyonce' but the spunk, the confidence, and talent that radiates from Ms. Solange gives me life! I still listen to Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams like it's new. SO imagine my excitement when I heard she was ready to release some new music. Here's her new single and video "Losing You" filmed in South Africa. Full of fashion, fun, energy and good music. All things I expect from her.

Tell me the truth boy am I losing you for good...

New finds for the sonically inclined

In my late night/early morning search of the internet, I always come across new music and decided to share my findings. Today's installment comes from a group from Brooklyn, NY. The Rising Sun All stars and their song Lucky Monday. If you like it support them. If you don't keep it to yourself.

Enjoy!

Low Down Loretta Brown

This is just the way I'm feeling today. Nothing crazy in particular has happened but often find myself saying some of these lines in responses to some of these tired men. It's a smooth groove that can be played whenever though. As is most of her catalog. I love me some Low Down Loretta Brown. Happy Friday all. Enjoy!

Still Standing...

Real, soulful artists + their truth= REAL music and a happy listener. Happy Sunday.

What YOU know about The Foreign Exchange?!

New Tigallo, New Tigallo, New Tigallo is what they call him. You may know him as Phonte, or 1/2 of super group The Foreign Exchange. The other member of the gruesome twosome is Nicolay, aka the baddest man from the Netherlands, or as I like to think of him The skyscraper of soul. This past Monday night (11/14/11) was the highly anticipated FE show here in the STL. I'd known about the show for a while but since I couldn't get off early, I was thinking about skipping it. I'm glad I thought about it again and didn't. I left at work at nine and after a struggle in the parking garage me and one of my besties (hey Jenny!) headed to the show. As soon as  I stepped in the door and immediately I felt relaxed. (Cue Beanie Sigel's "Feel It In the Air) I'm not a stressed out person but I'd had a long day and had an early tomorrow looming in my mind. Nevertheless, I let the music take me away. They played music from all of their albums :Connected, Leave it All Behind, Authenticity. Phonte did some joints from his solo project Charity Starts At Home. They even gave their band mates some time to shine. Sy Smith is bubbling over with talent. ZO! is an artist in his own right. He may play the keys for the band but he has his own works too. (see Just Visiting three and SunStorm). The show was FABULOUS! I hope my energy comes across my in type because that's just how serious I am. I love great music, even more so when it's live and they did not disappoint. Everyone was enjoying themselves and shaking the stress of the day away. People started to electric slide they feeling it so much. ( I didn't because I have my own issues with it that won't be discussed here) The vibe in the building was one that was just inviting. It was refreshing because STL crowds can be difficult. FE made me feel like I was apart of the show. I saw folk I hadn't seen in months. I love how music can bring us together. The band had us all singing our hearts out and meeting new people. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I have been a fan but this just made me love them even more. FE & friends shared themselves with me and my fellow concert goers that night and that experienced is not something that I take lightly. FE encourages/mandates us to fight for love and good music. I even bought a $20 t-shirt! And if you know me, you know that that's a big deal, a dub on t-shirt in these times ain't nothing to play about. I took some video of the concert. I know it's not the best quality but it's the best I could do to give you a piece of the magic from that night. Enjoy!