Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dumbing your standards down only hurts YOU

Despite what various news broadcasts, articles, blogs, and random people say there are good quality men (women) out here willing and ready to date you. The problem with feeding into the hysteria (believing the hype) is that a lot of women (men) are settling and dumbing themselves down for their partners. The philosophy seems to be "I'd rather have ANYBODY than NOBODY."  Let me be the voice of reason here, that won't work. Why are you selling yourself short?! I'm no dating guru, (I'm trying to figure it out just like you) but I've come across my fair share of males and various types of relationships to know a few things. From my few years in the dating game I can assure you that settling will leave you holding a pound of pissed off. You're not doing yourself any kind of serving hanging on to him (her). Who wants to go through life unhappy just so you can say "I got a man (woman)." You don't have a relationship, what you have is issues. He's (she's) thinking they've won the jackpot because not only are attractive,smart, and gainfully employed you don't seem to mind that they aren't. They are probably your opposite and not the type of complimentary opposite either. They're cute though and a warm body beats a cold bead and lonely Friday nights right? Right? WRONG. You deserve more. You can do better. You can have what you seek in mate. You can have a person who compliments you on every level, not someone who isn't just good for between the sheets activities. Furthermore settling is a mistake, I'll even go as far to say it's reckless endangerment. Big words to use I know. It's that serious though. Reckless because you know crazy, ill-conceived things happen when people aren't where they're supposed to be. For example we get  unplanned pregnancies. Not the kind that works out well for all involved either, we get the ones  laced with baby mama/daddy drama. We get restraining orders, busted out windows, flattened tires, etc. Most importantly we get hurt people who may in turn hurt someone else because of the previous foolishness. This is not an easy task, I know. It is possible though. Do yourself and us a favor and wait for the right one or be with no one. It's not worth the drama and heartache. Lupe Fiasco said it best "Bishop G, they told me I should come down cousin, but I flatly refuse I ain't dumb down nothing" This is what I try to live by because I would rather be by myself than wasting time and energy on a situation that doesn't deserve it. If I were you I'd do the same. 
 I wish you happy dating and sanity.


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