Change has come

Hey!

Things have been changing for me recently and I now have time to sit down collect myself, say thank you, and write. We're 3 months into the new year and I've got a promotion, my own apartment, a haircut, and no car, lol. They are all connected and I'm thankful for each one of them. The past month or so has been a month of growth. I'm growing into my adulthood and my womanhood and I'm accepting it with open arms. It's very comforting and exciting to see yourself mature seamlessly. Of course we all have our "moments," but I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming, and it inspires me to keep growing and living! I also know I'm getting older because all I want to do on the weekends is catch up on sleep lol. #elderly 

This promotion had come just in time because I had been feeling under challenged in my old position and my mind was restless. I couldn't sleep at night because I was fearing that I was wasting my potential and intelligence. I was thankful that I had a job, but baby, I wanted to QUIT. I just wasn't getting what I thought I needed. I felt like I had learned all of what I was supposed to in that role. So, yeah, I'm glad about this new title.

 I've got my own place now. No more living off the fat of the land at my parent's because they've decided to move back to Houston. They wanted me to come, but I unlike them, am not retired and can't just up and move. I felt I was getting older and now was the best time for me to make this move. I'm still between both places, but I sleep at my apartment most nights and my mama has already left for 5th Ward leaving daddy to pack up the house. It's an adjustment to say the least but I know it'll be good in the end. I'm still in the beginning stages. No bed or tv  yet, but come May when I get JSU out of my pockets, I'll more to spend. My car broke down about a month ago. Ivy was old and well used. I see it as a silver lining because now I don't have to spend money on car maintenance, insurance, gas, etc.  

On to this hair honey, I had long been thinking about a change in hairstyles. I got inspired to cut all of it while was getting those trendy linings for a couple of months last summer. So I did it. Took my shoulder length hair and had my stylist chop it and give me a tapered cut. I LOVE it! I already feel so different. I've never had short hair before and I feel free. I'm #summertimefine  and it's barely spring, LOL

All these things are happening all at once. I'm beyond blessed, thankful, and grateful for them and for the people in my life who are supporting me. We'll see by the end of the year where I am emotionally, but right now, I 'm floating. Watch this Black girl fly (word to K-Dot)

Here's to change, it's making me better even when I don't feel like it is.

That's my before and after picture. #Cheekbones #TWA #new

Yeah I write poetry sometimes...

Here's the deal. I like to express my feelings, thoughts,and opinions. Sometimes in the form of poetry, but I rarely let people see or even know that I do so. I don't like people assuming that just because I rock a FIERCE natural and enjoy Neo-soul, and brown rice that I participate in poetry slams. I don't, I won't say I never will but I don't as of today. ANYWAY, I'm feeling courageous so I am going to share my latest piece with you. If you don't like it I do not want to know. What can I say? I'm sensitive.

Jezzie’s Lament

You know what I hear time and time again? “Jessiree, why do you treat these guys that way? You act as if you’ve got ice water coursing through your veins” No sugar, not true. No ice in my heart or veins, I just refuse to be driven insane by these “too cool for school” types guys, these “hit and never think of you again” type guys, these” baby you’re just too good for me that’s why we could never be” type guys. Save it for someone who doesn’t know any better. I understand we all have to take our lumps in the pursuit of finding our happily ever afters, but I decided to take fewer and yield the same results. I decided to be proactive in my interactions with men. If you don’t call, don’t expect me to.  Baby I’m not sorry to report that I won’t be chasing you. Not by text, missed calls, tweets or wall posts. If you don’t recognize the real when you see it there’s nothing I can do to make you believe it. When I show interest and it is returned with a blank stare, I switch gears. I’m not the type to stay around to see how long it takes you to care.  So when we finally do reconnect, if it seems like I’m surrounded by an air of nonchalance, it’s because I am. .” I don’t want to hear how much you’ve missed me, because my response will simply be “Awww, that’s sweet.” That’s the God’s honest truth .I won’t allow myself to give a damn about man who doesn’t know how true, pure, and good I am.  You won’t get the chance to squeeze this Charmin, darling. I may not be perfect, but I’m perfect for somebody. It may not be you and that’s cool, no hard feelings boo. I just don’t want you to lie to me, cause I won’t lie to you. I don’t want to be your “kick it girl”, you know the one you call when you have that itch that needs to be scratched. You can miss me with all that.  I want to be in love and be booed up all year long. I’m better than a midnight booty call. You have to admit that we’re both getting to old for that type of behavior. I’m a grown woman and like you I demand love and respect and if you can’t handle that then it’s “on to the next, on, on to the next one.”  If you want to play then I can too. It’s just game that we both may lose. I’m no loser, I play to win and in this game of hearts we can both be victorious if you just grow up and let me in.